I love life!

New year, same goals. Main goal is to be happy and grateful for the life I have. My baby is healthy, my partner is awesome and I have food in the fridge. I have some ongoing goals regardless of time of year.

1) workout everyday (who needs anti-depressants after a 30 min cardio session or a Stroller Fitness Class. 

2) eat more vegetables 

3) save money for a downpayment for a house 

4) simplify - get rid of clutter and organize better 

5) read more books

Wow... Two years later.... Guess what I had a baby!

As my baby naps, I am online looking for weight loss motivation... again. I am again on the bandwagon to drop weight and it sounds like a broken record.  I need to lose weight not for me but for my family.  I don't want to be "fat mom" or struggle keeping up to my 6 month old (she will be six months on Saturday). I am too embarrassed to share how much I now weigh. Lets just say I gained almost 20 lbs since Jaime was born. I breastfeed and supplement (don't make enough milk) and I take a crap load of medicine/herbs to increase my breast milk. I am not every active as I was during my pregnancy. I was walking over 1 - 2 hours a day (during lunch and breaks), now I am at home trying my best to be active and eat properly - which I feel that I am failing at. When I stepped on the scale today I almost crapped myself and I had a long cry and started to feel sorry for myself. Then I got mad.  Rather than being pissed off, I realize now I have to try even harder to be active and eat properly I am not getting any younger.  I am now 34 and a new mom. Here I am, eager to get fit and healthy once again for me and for my daughter!

I went for a walk this morning...

I went for a walk in my neighbourhood this morning.

Here is my playlist:

1 )Keep it hid – Dan Aurbach

2) Rebel Yell – Billy Idol

3) Sexy and I know It – LMAFO

4) The Edge of Glory – Lady Gaga

5) The Wicked Messenger – The Black Keys

6) Miss World – Hole

7) Under the Lighthouse – Big Wreak

8) I fought the Law – The Clash

9) Highway 61 Revisited – Karen O and the Million Dollar Bashers

10) Man In the Long Black Coat – Mark Lanegan

11) Bull In the Heather – Sonic Youth

12) Screaming Skull – Sonic Youth

13) Like Suicide – Soundgarden

What I saw on my walk... I wonder what the meaning of this street name?

 

What I saw on my walk...

 Dirty Seine River that flows through my neighbourhood..

Some kids expressing their teenage angst...

Seine River - North Fermor Avenue

Someones garden. I wonder if the car pollution on Fermor harms the crops for consumption?

Walkway to Egerton Rd.

 

 

  It was a lovely walk with an awesome playlist!

 

I hate stress

This past week, stress has been my enemy. Stress is harmful for my well-being.  I admit, I have a chaotic life; I work very hard at my 8:30 – 4:30 career, our organization is at a critical stage with major deliverables and deadlines, and the stress I experience has resulted in a doctor-ordered two-week break.  As I was getting ready for work this morning, it was not the usual, Monday morning blues I usually experience after a nice weekend with Michael.  It was a panic, fear and anxiety-ridden morning with tears and an internal pain in my stomach. Those feelings have been surfacing a lot more these days, and I knew if I made it into the office; I may have had complete meltdown in front of my colleagues and boss, which would have been humiliating.  So now I am at home making a plan to rebalance, recharge and revaluate my well-being goals.  I am not a religious person per se, but I often think about this prayer or mantra that my Grandma had hanging on her wall back home in Norway House. It goes like this...

God, grant me the
Serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change ~
COURAGE
to change the
things I can;
and
WISDOM
to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the
pathway to peace.
Taking this
sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make
all things right if I
surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy
in this life, and supremely
happy forever in
the next.

By Reinhold Neibuhr

Although I do not subscribe to the Christian faith, this prayer reminds me of a time when life was easier, it reminds me that I am only one person and I cannot hold the weight of the world on my shoulders. 

Pisew Falls - Near Thompson Manitoba. Within Pimicikamak time-honoured territory. 

Sunday ramdon thoughts... goals and aspirations

I recently deactivated my Facebook (FB) account. I thought of permanently deleting FB permanently but I could not fathom losing all my ‘friends’, in other words family, friends and people who I met one time or another. Recently more than ever I found myself ‘lurking’ on FB, gazing at other people’s memories, reading rants and complaints and feeling disconnected with the people who matter the most. One reason why I love(d) FB was that I had many contacts that gave me the ‘low-down’ on issues that matter to me and my community that often is not reflected in mainstream media such as the blatant disregard for Indigenous peoples and their rights and freedoms to live freely in their territories, under their own laws, custom and governance – all in the name of ‘progress’ and ‘development’.

I was inspired to blog to help me document my weight-loss goals and strive to live mino-pimatisiwin (Inninuw concept of ‘living the good life’ or living in balance), which I have not blogged about and which I should in the near future. Thus far on this blogging journey, I have lost 56 lbs since November 2009. I have drastically changed my eating habits and I feel a lot lighter! (I still hover around 227-231) and this has been the case for about a year. I am not too concerned at this moment in time. I know I have lost weight per se by the size of my clothes. I am swimming in 1x size clothes, I can finally fit into some XL at Ricki’s and XXL at Reitman’s hug my curves in a good way ;P. It is exciting to finally fit into ‘regular people’ clothes and options on wardrobe are increasing almost every day.

This summer I have a goal not to reactivate FB. I want to limit my personal internet time to less than 90 minutes a day. Often when I get up in the morning, I make my coffee, catch up on FB, read blogs, the mainstream news, and check the weather. That takes about 20-30 minutes. Then I travel to work. If I can block off 45-60 minutes in the evening to blog, read blogs or research/surf would be an awesome step forward in the sense that I can organize my personal time to achieve aspired goals.

I want to spend this summer outside as much as possible, I want to read both fiction and more scholarly pieces, and finally I yearn to go on vacation with my partner, who has recently graduated from the University of Manitoba with a Bachelor of Education. Vacation requires money and thrifty living is essential for the next 8 weeks and frugal living is a priority.

Summer of 2012 will be a good one.

Me, 2011 - I really need to start using my camera more

Have a good night!

Friend Making Mondays

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

FMM: Current Favorites

1. Song – Gold on the Ceiling – The Black Keys
2. Drink – Coffee homemade Starbucks Espresso Roast and Caribou Coffee Mocha Java
3. Physical feature of the opposite sex (or the sex that you find attractive) – My partners strong back
4. TV Show(s) – Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice and The Big Bang Theory
5. Actor/Actress – Benjamin Bratt.
6. Book – Devotion – Dani Shapiro
7. Form of communication – Text message
8. Exercise – Body Step classes, although my lower back is buggered up. Back up, elliptical and bike machine.
9. Food – BBQ stir-fried Brussels sprouts, red pepper, asparagus, red onion marinated in an olive oil, balsamic vinegar and hot garlic and chili sauce.
10. Quote – “…Take the word, “colonization,” which is actually away of seeing and explaining what has happened to us. We cannot allow that word to be the story of our lives, because it is a narrative that in its use privileges the colonizers’ power and inherently limits our freedom, logically and mentally imposing a perpetual colonized victim way of life and view on the world” (Alfred, 2005, p.25).


Now it’s your turn to answer the questions! Don’t forget to come back and link up in the comments. Happy Monday Friends

OMG – Where have the time gone?

It is November 1! I am still weighing in at 229-230 lbs as per scale. I must admit that I have not been diligent on meal planning and eating at home. Many meals have been from restaurants where portion sizes are massive and where I have no self-control. This week Michael and I have decided to implement a weekly meal plan schedule.

Tonight’s menu

Roasted chicken, garlic mashed potatoes (for Michael) and garlicky quinoa for me, with roasted lemon asparagus and Brussels sprouts.


November Fitness/Weight-loss Goals
Attend 3 step-classes per week (Monday, Wednesday, Saturday)
Practice hot yoga class once per week (Sunday)
Strength training 3-4 times per week
Weigh in at 220-222lbs on November 30

November Food Goals
No eating or drinking out! (Except for November 15, 2011 – Sushi Date with friends from high school)
Allowed one take out coffee/tea per week and only if I am visiting with a friend


Financial Goals
Pay and extra $500 to personal loan
Save $500 for Boxing day/week sales!

Hot Yoga

I went to a hot yoga class this evening. I feel wonderful! I do not want stress to be my narrative. Let's see if I can keep this up.
Good Night!

Hard time

This summer has been a struggle at work. I am in high stress mode and I need a vacation. In the mean time, I decided embrace yoga once again. I read wonders what yoga teachings can do for one’s mind and body. I need to feel secure and confident in my work again. Lately, I have been questioning my roles and responsibilities as an Inninu woman, as well as my own mortality and health. I think I do not want to have children, although a part of me would like the gift of raising a human being. I also want to pursue my education further; I would like apply to Trent University as they have an Indigenous studies PhD program there. I have a friend who also claims since I only have a 3.75 GPA in my Native Studies Masters that I may not get into any program. With that said, do I do another Masters degree? My colleague at work who is a senior scientist in biology asserts that is a “load of bullshit” and is certain I would get into a program strategically with the right letters of recommendation, my work experience (I am a researcher/analyst/writer) and my area of interest (hydro development). Sigh...

My scale is not budging. I am still hovering around 229-232. I am trying to make peace with that so I can move on. I have read that yoga may help with weight loss dependent on what type and intensity, but the main reasons why I would like to pursue this type of exercise is that I would like to learn to relax and chill out!

I heart Bodystep

Today I felt lousy. I was very emotional and sad. Sometimes I feel like quitting my job and hiding under a rock. I feel like I cannot do anything right and everyone thinks I am an idiot. I blame it on my monthly visitor. Although, I felt like crap, I made it to a Bodystep class. I feel wonderful now.




I am hoping my eggplant, tofu and mushroom stir-fry turns out.

New Workout Shorts

Yeah Me! New workout pants!
Bought at Reitmans size XL (Yeah no plus size)

230

Yeah! Soon to be in the 20's.
I kinda find it a bit humorous stating that.
Oh how I would like to be in the 120's but I do not think that is feasible to my body type. All I can say I am looking forward to being in the 100's hopefully by November. Then I can proudly state that I have lost 100 lbs via decolonizing my diet and exercise. The past few weeks I been taking my workouts outside! I can run/jog for 4 min on the treadmill then back to a brisk walk and back to a run/jog. I am still self-conscious running/jogging outside and I am in a desperate need to acquire a new sports bra (I been surviving on wearing two bras) and new workout pants/shorts as I am swimming in them. As for attending hot yoga classes - I have not checked that off my list. Soon maybe tomorrow.

Gym Week

I have been working hard at the gym all week... so far

Sunday - 40 min med/hard cardio (bike and treadmill)
Monday - Step Aerobics (Bodystep class)
Tuesday - 42 min med/hard cardio (bike and elliptical machine), triceps, back, chest and chest
Wednesday - 20 min on bike, triceps, legs, hips


go me. Not much movement on scale.

Walk/Jog/Run

It has been about a year and a half since I started to get serious about my health. Since November 2009 I have lost 50 lbs and went from a size 22/24 down to a size 16/18. I can lift heavier weights than ever before and I do not get winded after 20 minutes of cardio. I go to the gym 3 or 4 times a week and when I am not giving into my cravings I eat very light. This past month I have been upping my cardio exercise by increasing my walking on treadmill to 4.0 mph to a light jog of 4.8-5.0 mph. I am excited that I am improving with both cardio endurance and the increasing weight in strength training. I am starting to 'swim' in my gym clothes and I am starting to notice that I have a 'waist'. It is pretty exciting to see this transformation and I am starting to feel 'more in control' of my life.

Summer 2011 goals

To start walking/jogging/running outside (1 x week)
Hot yoga once a week (1 x week)

Eating Out

I eat out a lot. Not going to hide the fact that I enjoy Asian food. I heart Dim Sum, Japanese, Thai and Korean. The job I have now is very high stress and we are on tight deadlines. When I am stressed I emotionally eat. I run out at lunch and indulge. I rationalize to myself that I will work an extra hour to pay for my indulgence and I promise myself that I will go to the gym and burn off the extra calories. Often enough I break my promise and choose to laze around, play on computer, or watch TV. Sometimes I am so tired to cook anything I often twist my partners rubber arm and order something or go out for burgers and fries or mall food. This summer my goal is to be a better meal planner and save the $$ I spend on take out, restaurants, and mall food and put it toward debt (car loan and old student line of credit that was merged into a single loan) and save for an end of summer splurge. I am not cutting myself off from eating out; I still want to have my weekend indulgence of dim sum with my good friend and perhaps a payday pizza or breakfast with my partner.

Here is a picture of Michael and me at Lake Louise, Alberta in October 2009
(50 lbs heavier). I like this picture because it was our first big trip we took together. I hope to go somewhere this summer before Michael goes back to school to finish his last year in the Faculty of Education at the University of Manitoba.

Last nights workout

35 minutes hard cardio (treadmill and step)+ 220 lbs seated leg press + 45 lat pull down + 45 lb chest press = sore butt and chest

238

Yeah in the 230's
Bye bye 240's
Not sad that I have to say good bye to size 20 and some 18 pants!

yeah me!

242

There it is.
42 lb loss since November 2009.

Goal 232 by March 4, 2010

Goal - under 200 November 2011?

Time to be accountable.

sigh...

Up 2 lbs

I am still on my journey to achieve a balanced lifestyle. The past two weeks I only been to the gym twice and I am starting to feel it in my body and mind. The other night over mimosas, movie theatre popcorn (finally went to see Life as We Know It) and a few episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, I felt like rubbish. I knew a brisk walk or jog would make me feel better. The gym was closed and there was a -30 degree Celsius wind-chill so I decided to make it to the gym today. My 20 minute brisk recumbent bike ride and a 20 minute brisk elliptical hike/jog/walk felt wonderful. I did some weight training and that included time on the leg press (level 12?), back row (95 lbs) and chest press (level 4). My body felt so much better. Even though I know working out makes me feel wonderful, I admit to being a workout slacker (especially through this past December).

Eating wise, I did not do too badly. I watched my meal portions, but I did snack – chips, popcorn, pie, xmas dinner leftovers at inappropriate times, like when watching Grey’s at 11:00 pm! Although, my weight loss effort has dwindled a tad, I am back on the saddle.

I am not brave enough to state my current weight at this moment in time, but let’s just say that I am between a size 18 and a 20. I tried on an old pair of size 16 pants from Reitman’s and 16 months ago they could not be done up. Last night I could button and zip them up but had a slight muffin top. I think if I can drop 10 pounds in the next eight weeks or so, the pants may fit like they should.

I heart blogs

I like to read healthy living blogs. I find them very motivating and often I get excited when my favorites post a new entry. The main purpose of this blog was to document my healthy living progress and to also document the weight loss that often comes with that. Since November 2009, I have lost 40 lbs and I feel great about that. Aside from losing some pounds, I been reflecting on the changes I made the past year. The changes were minor, for example, I eat less and I diligently watch my portion sizes. At first I used measuring cups and a food scale, but now I am pretty good at eyeballing. Michael and I eat a lot of veggies, whole grain carbs, and lean cuts of meat. We never buy white bread, white rice or regular pasta. The only white item we allow is homemade bannock. Michael’s granny makes the best Cree style bannock. It is a treat. She sends it home with me when I return from Gillam for work. Bannock has its roots from Scotland and over the decades or even centuries it has become a tradition in Cree people’s lives. I can argue that we should stop eating bannock for health reasons – but there are ways to make the bread healthier like using white wheat flour and eliminate the lard and use fat that is less evil.
Another factor I contribute my success to is exercise. Over the past 6 months or so I have taken up weight lifting in addition to cardio. I have read from numerous sources that weight lifting is essential to building lean muscle mass and assists with weight loss. I feel stronger and more confident.
Here is a list of blogs that I love to read! Some deal with weight loss, living a balanced lifestyle and humour. They are not categorized.

http://www.jennyfromdarock.com/
http://www.embracingbalance.com/
http://lynnsstylediaries.blogspot.com/
http://fattyfighter.blogspot.com/
http://hereontheprairies.blogspot.com/